By Anne Muiruri
From the time we are young girls, we are told that once we grow up, we will get married and get the coveted title of ‘wife of so and so’. And that henceforth, we will go on to live happily ever after.
In fact, we are made to believe that if we become single mothers, society will frown upon us. Being single, we are also warned, would make us miserable and lonely. However, that is never the case, if you ask me. How happy or miserable a woman is, entirely depends upon her -weather single or married.
Okay, well, I do believe in marriage, and that being a wife is a great honour that comes with a number of advantages. However, from what I have observed around, especially from my married friends, playing the role of a wife, too, comes with its fair share of problems.
It is not as fun as we were promised by Cinderella fairy tales. It is not just grueling, tedious, but also requires a lot of self-sacrifice, hard work, tolerance and compromise. And one thing that also stands out, as far as my keen observations goes is that this role, in most cases, requires one to kill her ambitions. Not very nice, right?
And while both men and women benefit from marriage, I believe it is men who benefit most from having a wife. I mean who would not want someone to take care of them; someone who irons, cooks, cleans for them, creates a warm and loving home environment and takes care of their every need?
That is why for the life of me, I cannot understand why we, women, are always in such a hurry to walk down that aisle, to say “I do”. Ask any lady in her mid-20s and her number one goal is to get married, as opposed to building their career.
I, on the other hand, have a feeling the best experience a woman enjoys is being someone’s girlfriend, and your woes begin the moment you become a wife. Look, being a girlfriend is fun, it comes with no responsibilities; all you have to do is sit pretty and let a man woo you until you say yes or no. It is the time for a man to sacrifice, compromise and even sell his kidney, if he has to, in order to please you.
And that is why I am taking time today to call out all those ladies out there who do not seem to understand the difference between being a wife and being a girlfriend.
For they blur the line between being a girlfriend and being a wife, in the process making us, who strictly adhere to the roles a girlfriend is supposed to play in a relationship, look bad.
Yes, you who goes over to your boyfriend’s house every weekend to wash his clothes, clean his house, and to prepare him meals. Yes, you who likes to play housewife and to take on the role of wife, yet you have no ring! In fact, in the process, you expose your incompetence. Little wonder, then, that such get dumped, and fail to understand why.
Men should not expect to have free milk if they do not want to buy the cow. You cannot expect a wife for the price of a girlfriend. And that is why I will not be washing any man’s clothes or cooking for any man who is just a boyfriend.