Sexless marriage ends


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Rabecca Banda writes


A Lusaka woman has been divorced in the Chilenje Local Court  for denying her husband conjugal rights.

Stella Moba, 22, of Meanwood was sued by Morgan Mbasi, 30, a stock taker of Mtendere.

Mbasi said he married Moba in November 2018 and have no children.

Mbasi said he was charged K5,500 dowry but managed to pay K3,000.

“We had a white wedding. A few days into our marriage, my wife told me she had a stomach problem. She said her stomach was aching. I gave her K100 to buy medicine,” he said.

“Later I discovered that she did not buy the medicine. We had sex twice and form there she started refusing to have sex with me because of the same stomach problem,” he said.

“I explained the situation to her elder sister and she promised to find a solution. It never changed. I always have to beg her to have sex with me. I married her so that we can build a home. How can we build a home if she doesn’t want to have sex,” he said.

“Suddenly my wife started coming home awkward hours around 23:00.One time I gave her money to but relish, she went around 16:00 and returned around 22:00 hours.  I was forced to cook for myself and the other children we keep,” he said.

“I tried to talk to her but she became upset and we started fighting. She bit me on my back and I beat her. Our neighbour intervened and stopped us,” he said.

“We sat down with both families. I told her relatives that I love her but she has to change her behaviour. After that dispute she left the house and never returned,” he said.

“ We sat down again and she said she wanted to get her things from the house. She told her relatives in my presence and my relatives that she doesn’t love me,” he said.

“ I tried to call her but she kept telling me that the marriage was over and that I am not her husband,” he said.

“We have been on separation for two months. I want the marriage to end because my wife left our matrimonial home and she said she doesn’t love me anymore,” he said.

The two were appearing before senior local court magistrate Ackim Phiri sitting with senior local court magistrate Harriet Mbewe.

In her defence, Moba said her husband denies her sex and when they have sex he only gives her one round.

Moba said her husband usually falls asleep after one round of sex.

“I explained to his brother the problem and said he would do something about it. The situation remained the same,” she said.

“ I want to divorce him because he is not strong. He cannot give me the rounds I want and I cannot manage to stay like that. Sometimes we stay two weeks without sex. I don’t know what makes him tired that he cannot have sex with me the way I want,” she said.

“I told him to have himself checked but got upset and started beating me and that’s how I left the house. I have never denied him sex, he is the one who refuses,” he said.

The court granted divorce and ordered the couple to share household goods equally.


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